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I think sucking all that cock in those porn flicks sent Lillian into a funk. Oh yeah, you should see this one dude in these movies they call Miro the Magnificent! His fucking dick is—" Scarlet! I'm not really interested in that!" Okay, okay. Geez Captain, don't blow a gasket. But I sure would like to blow Miro!" Scarlet, just go home and turn on your vibrator until I call you with another assignment," he said gruffly. "I just can't understand why these female superheroes are so horny," he muttered to himself as she turned and walked out the door.* * *"Captain America?" the voice on the telephone inquired."Yes?" This is Stephen King. I have a problem." What, are you looking for some ideas for a new book, like the last time you contacted me?" No, no. I have a big problem this time." Well, what is it, Stephen?" It's the Evil Empire. You know I'm the world's biggest celebrity Red Sox fan. I'm terribly worried since that ruthless villain 'The Boss' is spending billions to buy the pennant.. " I started walking towards thedoor. He put his hand on my shoulder. I stopped."Sounds like your workout routine isn't doing what you want. Let me ask yousomething. If you could change your body, what would you do?" He stood theresmiling. I should have known something was wrong then.The question caught me off guard. "I don't know." I answered. "Not much,maybe a better chest, and lose some of this fat that I've acquired lately."His smile grew wider. "I can help you," he said.Here comes the sales pitch. "Sorry, I'm not interested in any of those musclebuilding products you guys are always selling." I started walking away buthis grip on my shoulder tightened."This one's no pitch," he said. "In fact, it's guaranteed. If it doesn't giveyou the desired results in 30 days, I'll personally give you double yourmoney back."Now if there's one thing I've learned from my years of banking, it's that ifsomething sounds too good to be true, it probably is. But I decided to playalong. "All right, tell.
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